she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
there is glitter all over my balls
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
