Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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