I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Dear god my vagina.
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