You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I want her autograph on my taint
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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