you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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