He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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