You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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