i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
