Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
