I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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