He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
