I'm jealous of your bromance
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
