I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
