i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
