I want to walk on stilts...naked
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm at about main and main street
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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