he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
