Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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