omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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