Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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