omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
