all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
