honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
