Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
