Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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