it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Semen is not good for contacts.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
