Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
