you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
