First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
