So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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