I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
