dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
