trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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