I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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