I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
