He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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