Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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