How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Someone came in the potted fern
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
