I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
