im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I puked a lego.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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