look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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