no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
