I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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