Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
