We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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