I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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