; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
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