So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
