Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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