I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
