Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
