Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
