i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
smell my finger.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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