After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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